Spot the Idiot

Doesn't President Carter know that he already has the Worst President Ever Award sewn up? Just what must run through this man's mind? I'm simply going to walk over and talk to these Hamas people and convince them to stop their rocket attacks into Israel. So he sits down with them, cameras flashing, blabs awhile, and goes on his way. That should do it. Yup.

Right.

Yo, Mr. President. Pope Leo the Great pulled off a miraculous conversation with Attila the Hun, and, by just walking out to where he was and talking things over, convinced him to turn around and not pillage Rome.

But, um, I knew Leo the Great. Leo the Great was a friend of mine. And Mr. President, you're no Leo the Great.

In your case, Hamas must be beside themselves with side-splitting laughter. Sure, they'll talk to you. And then they can splash the photos all over the world to make the case for how reasonable they are, all the while planning their next terror attack.

I mean, just how naive can you be? Maybe you have some memory of having pulled off a tidy compromise over commerce with neighboring peanut farmers, Hamas is not into peanut farming. Here's the difference, to put it delicately: they're murderers.

Before undertaking this mission of yours, maybe you should have practiced a bit, stateside. You know, go find some gang of thugs in downtown New York late at night and see if you can't talk them into being nice.

Well, what's the difference?

You keep on embarrassing yourself and your country, just when we thought you couldn't get any worse.

The best thing you ever did, sir, was hand the reins to Ronald Reagan.

Now here's an ironic contrast for you: President Reagan announced it to the world when he learned that he had Alzheimer's, and he rode off gracefully into the sunset. You, by contrast, announce to no one that you're diseased, and you turn and rush headstrong into the fray.

Ah, well. It's America, and, as Mother used to say, It takes all kinds . . .