The threefold question Jesus asks Peter (St. John 21) is curious, since it contains two different terms for love (agapao and pheleo) which are evidently so closely related that they are not distinguished from each other in the English translation.
Many have suggested interpretations for this remarkable exchange, and here's the one I gave yesterday at midweek mass.
First, a very rough paraphrase of the three questions and their answers might be:
Jesus: Simon, do you love me?
Peter: You know that you are my dear friend.
Jesus: Simon, do you love me?
Peter: You know that you are my dear friend.
Jesus: Simon, am I your dear friend?
Peter: You know that you are my dear friend.
Peter was "grieved" the third time, not merely because he was exasperated, but no doubt because he remembered his three denials and was remorseful.
But we note his newfound sense of deference here. No longer is he the brazen and bold, who boasts that he will go into death for his Lord; now he is reticent about any sort of self aggrandizement at all, so answers the 'agapao' question only with 'phileo'.
And finally Jesus condescends to 'phileo' himself in his question. But here Peter still declares his brotherly love for his Lord, for he knows it is born of the Spirit.
Something's haywire with the upload function, so I can't get the audio file posted here. Still trying.
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