Monday, November 19, 2007
Santa Claus Discrimination
You may have heard the recent attacks on Santa Claus. Some in Europe have been ragging on him because they think he needs to lose some weight, since, the reasoning goes, he could be an enabler to those among them who have tendencies toward becoming obese. They say his own weight problem is setting a bad example. Meanwhile Australia has gone and banned the trademark “Ho Ho Ho,” saying this could be offensive to women. Since some people hear the word “ho” and hear that as ghetto slang for “whore,” therefore they are proposing that Santa start saying “Ha Ha Ha” instead.
All because they want Santa to be helpful and not offend.
Well hold on just a minute. I mean, I think we need to get a little political correctness involved here! This whole thing is being raised in the name of being politically correct, after all, so my question is, what about those who are overweight? I think this is clearly discriminating against them! What, now none of them can apply to be Santa in a shopping mall, because of being a little chubby? “Sorry, fella, you can’t be a Santa in our store. You’re too fat!” Wow, if ever there was a case against discrimination! Why does everyone have to look like a Ken doll, hmmm? We’re told that 66% of all Americans are overweight. Well, then, this is discrimination against most Americans!
And as for this Ha Ha Ha thing, that’s offensive too! Like, just who are you laughing at, Santa? The last thing I want to hear when I go Christmas shopping is some emaciated Santa Claus laughing at me! Why is he laughing? Does he think I’m too fat, like he himself used to be? (The hypocrite!) Or maybe he’s laughing at my kids because they’re too fat! How dare he! I smell a lawsuit, I can tell you.
To all those 66% of Americans and all those who love them (which pretty much ought to make up the whole country) I say, Rise up! Defend your Santa Claus! He has every right not to be jeered just because he’s fat! Ha ha ha indeed! I’ll give them ha ha ha . . .