Wednesday, August 22, 2007

The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch


Monty Python cracks me up, though I haven't quite figured out why. The troupe makes fun of everybody under the sun, maybe that's why. Even, dare I say it, folks like me who love the KJV. But never take yourself too seriously, that's the word to the wise for today . . .

King Arthur [holding the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch]: How does it... um... how does it work?

Sir Lancelot: I know not, my liege.

King Arthur: Consult the Book of Armaments.

Brother Maynard: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.

Cleric: [reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...

Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...

Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."

Brother Maynard: Amen.

All: Amen.

King Arthur: Right. One... two... five.

Galahad: Three, sir.

King Arthur: Three.

11 comments:

Paul T. McCain said...

I'm almost distressed by the fact that now I find I agree with you on something, again, in the span of only a few months.

Monty Python is fantastic.

You either love it, as my boys and I do, or you hate it, as my wife and daughter does.

They think we are nuts.

How can you not laugh at the Holy Hand Grenade?

Of the discussion about the aerodynamics of swallows and coconuts?

Anastasia Theodoridis said...

You think YOU'RE distressed to agree with HIM...

I love Monty Python, too, and the Holy Hand Grenade is a scream!

Anastasia

Past Elder said...

Great Scott! I agree with our host MOST of the time, and I cannot find anything in Monty Python except an expression of 60s counterculture.

What's up with that!

I should devote my remaining days to understanding the phenomenon of how one can be a confessional Lutheran and like Monty Python -- or even more, Rock music as many do, for whose entire history I have been alive.

Maybe it's just me. After all, for British comedy, and I'm English by descent, I'm more a Benny Hill guy. Now that cracks me up! Not to be confused with Benny Hinn, or Benny XVI, either of whom can be pretty amusing too.

Father Eckardt said...

Meanwhile, another reader gave us a YouTube link if you want to watch this act. It's http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjeJi07O7uQ

Fr John W Fenton said...

Guess what I've been looking for ever since I became an Antiochian priest? :)

Father Eckardt said...

Always glad to oblige . . .

Ricky Begotka said...

"How can you not laugh at the Holy Hand Grenade?"

Maybe if you're offended by "Life of Brian".

We may in weakness be persuaded to "not take ourselves too seriously" when Christianity or Christians are "satirized". In doing so, we become useful idiots for those whose sole intent is to ridicule and foment hatred toward Christians.

If we don't take our Faith seriously, how can we expect it of those to whom we wish to spread the Gospel?

Venkman said...

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

Father Eckardt said...

. . . all together now . . .

Always look on the bright side of life.

[whistle whistle whistle . . .]

. . . and in harmony now, again . . .

Always look on the bright side of life. . . .

Paul T. McCain said...

Personally, I think the grumpy guy deserves the Spanish Inquisition and the comfy chair.

Father Eckardt said...

. . . "Always look on the bright side of life . . ."